Make Your Stories Sparkle
By Marion Tickner
Tired of writing ho-hum stories? Tired of yet another rejection slip? Could tired words be the problem? Put some pizzazz in your writing and see what happens.
Let’s take a look at John going down the sidewalk. Is he walking? Running? Riding a bike? Skating? You don’t know until I SHOW you. Okay, “John walked down the sidewalk.” Can you see him now? How is he walking? Slow? Fast? Does he shuffle his feet? Does he avoid stepping on a crack so he won’t break his mother’s back?
Where is he going? That might make a difference. He’s on his way to school. We still don’t know if he likes school or is anxious to meet a friend. We’ll say he’s on his way to take a spelling test. If I’d already indicated somewhere in the story that he’s not a good speller, he’s probably in no hurry.
I click on my computer thesaurus, check walk, and find a list of words to use in place of walk. Saunter sounds like a good word to use. Next I pull the dictionary to see if “saunter” is the word I really want. Saunter – a slow leisurely walk. That will do it, I think.
But what age am I writing for? The CHILDREN’S WRITER’S WORD BOOK, by Alijandra Mogilner, lists saunter as a 6th grade word. Maybe I should try something else. Next I check Miriam-Webster’s Thesaurus. Stroll, plod (both 5th grade words). Something to consider.
Still I’m not satisfied. My old 1940 ROGET’S THESAURUS (a used bookstore bargain) tells me to see journey. Under journey I find poke along. That’s it. “Poke along” describes John facing the dreaded spelling test.
Rodale’s SYNONYM FINDER contains longer lists of synonyms from which to choose. If you can’t find what you want in a thesaurus, try the synonym finder. Yes, it’s work and time-consuming, but if searching for the right word makes a difference between a rejection and an acceptance, it’s well worth it.
Another use I’ve found for the SYNONYM FINDER is description. On a hike in the woods, my character meets an old man. In my first draft I described the old man as having “a haircut past due.” Yuck! Then in revision I changed it to “steel-gray, straggly hair.” Would a 13 year-old use the word “steel” to describe a gray-headed man? That’s me speaking, not her. Besides, having long hair didn’t really matter; it just needed to be gray. I looked up the word gray in my synonym finder and came up with a list of adjectives. Ashen, pale, gun-metal gray etc. Ashen sounds good.”His hair was the color of the ashes from last night’s campfire.”
While working on her historical novel set in Scotland, AGAINST THE TIDE, Hope Irvin Marston needed to find a word to show a man being hurried to safety by three of his friends. She checked hurry in the SYNONYM FINDER and found a Scottish word, whirry.
In the CHILDREN’S WRITER’S WORD BOOK, words are listed alphabetically with an indication of reading level and also grouped by grades K-6. The book also contains a thesaurus of listed words with reading levels for synonyms. As I mentioned earlier, I check the reading level to make sure I’ve used the correct word. Sometimes it’s good to introduce a new word as long as the reader understands the meaning from the context of the story.
Another way to put some spark into your writing is description. Pay attention to what you read and jot down descriptive phrases you like. You won’t be using them in your stories, but they may help get those creative juices flowing. Listen to some of Ann Tatlock’s descriptions from A ROOM OF MY OWN:
My hopes quickly toppled into little crumbs of dread when Simon acknowledged me with one lone stare of contempt and said nothing.
On top of the chest of drawers an ancient electric fan worked noisily to create a current of air through the room. Every time it turned one way it ruffled the curtains, and when it swung the other way, it sent a shiver through the pages of the magazines scattered across the desk.
We timidly approached the grocery store to peer in through what was left of the plate glass window. Peaks of glass pointed upward from the bottom frame of the window and downward from the top, reaching toward each other like the columns of stalactite and stalagmite in an underground cavern.
Or Tatlock’s I’LL WATCH THE MOON:
Her eyes were a deeper shade of sad.
I wondered why the stars were twinkling so fiercely tonight, almost breaking apart like firecrackers, until I realized their splintered light was because of the tears in my eyes.
His eyes shone with a terrible sadness, even more terrible than fear.
In writing for children we have to watch our word count, but energizing the words and phrases we do use in a story or article will give it the sparkle it needs.
